Blow the Whistle on Name Calling

Every week should be “No Name Calling Week”, but the week of January 19^th is a great time to revisit this theme that was introduced in October during National Bullying Prevention Month. 

We will teach students to Blow  the Whistle on Name Calling.   Here are some ways to make this  theme come alive across the entire school.

Print Campaign: Use sports slogans to  help students learn strategies to think before they speak and stand up to name calling.   I used Staples  custom posters to create low-cost posters to plaster throughout the building.   Get creative-- the possibilities are  endless with this theme!

Swag: Teachers will wear whistles around their necks  throughout the week to further promote the theme,  blow the whistle  on name calling.  Oriental Trading has  whistles for  only $5.00 per dozen!   To  take this theme to the next level, teachers and/or  students can wear their favorite sports jersey or t-shirt on a designated day to  show their support for standing up to name calling.

Chat and Chew:  During lunches through the week, introduce prompts  for students to discuss  related to No  Name Calling Week.  For example, 

"No Take Backs" Demonstrations: Show students that they can't take  back or erase hurtful words. 

•           Give students a blank piece of paper and have them write down hurtful words  that have been said to them.  After a set period of  time, instruct students to take 30 seconds to erase everything they have written.   Does the paper look brand new again? 
•          Cut  out a red paper heart and read  one of the books below.  Each time something hurtful is said or done to  the character,  fold, crumple, or gently tear the heart. Discuss how the heart changed and teach students that  a wrinkled  heart is hard to fix.
•           Pass around a tube of toothpaste and a plate.  Have students share out times  that hurtful words have been said to them and squeeze a small amount of toothpaste on the plate.   Once  the students have shared,  have them try to put the toothpaste back into the tube.

Read Alouds:  There are great books on this topic to engage students in discussion and teach them new strategies.  Here are  some of my favorites:

·         No Bullies in the Huddle by DeSean Jackson: Cameron Matthews and his family relocate from Los Angeles to Philadelphia. He loves to play the game of football and his favorite player is Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver, DeSean Jackson. Shortly after arriving at his new school, Cameron has a confrontation with an older student who is jealous of his football talents and threatens to take his position on the football field.

·         Don’t Laugh at Me by Steve Seskin: Don’t Laugh at Me is the anthem for a new bully-free world. The book also had a companion cd  with a song.

·         Bullies are a Pain in the Brain by Trevor Romain: This book blends humor with serious, practical suggestions for coping with bullies. Trevor Romain reassures kids that they're not alone and it's not their fault if a bully decides to pick on them. He explains some people are bullies and describes realistic ways to become "Bully-Proof," stop bullies from hurting others, and get help in dangerous situations.

·         Bullies Never Win by Margery Cuyler: When the class bully, Brenda Bailey, makes fun of Jessica’s skinny legs and her boyish lunch box, Jessica doesn’t know what to do. She doesn't want to be a tattletale, but she also wants the bullying to stop. Can Jessica find the courage to stand up for herself?

·         Bully B.E.A.N.S. by Julia Cook: Bully B.E.A.N.S. is a story that teaches people to become proactive when it comes to bullying. This book can help children understand why bullying happens and what they can do to stop it.

Gay,  Lesbian & Straight Education Network resources: GLSEN has wonderful FREE lessons, activities, and posters for No Name Calling Week.  Here are some of my favorites from GLSEN.

·     Blow the Whistle on Name Calling: This lesson plan from the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network encourages students to think about the importance of knowing and using proper names of classmates to create a safe and positive environment.
·         Poetic Reactions: This lesson plan from the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network allows students to explore their feelings about name calling by reflecting on poems written by students across the country.
·         I was Just Kidding: This lesson plan from the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network asks students to discuss the difference between teasing and bullying by examining  various scenarios.

Happy No  Name Calling Week!

Welcoming New Students

The summer  flew by and it is time to embark on another jam packed school year.  As we opened our doors on the first day of school, I thought back to my  first day of 4th grade.   My  family moved  across town and I started school in my new neighborhood.  I missed  my old friends and my favorite 3rd grade teacher.  I  wasn't  so  sure  about the  new  kids and my new teachers.  Luckily,  I had  teachers, classmates, and a school counselor who helped me to adjust. I know  that the first day  of  school can bring up a lot of  feelings including anxiety, fear, excitement,  sadness, anger, or confusion. This is true for students, parents,   even teachers and school  counselors! One of my  priorities the  first week of school was checking in with our brand new students to  welcome them  and support them  with this transition.  Below are some of the ways that I welcome and support new   students.

Link Team

Rewind to the end of last school year.  I  worked with students who had just completed their first  year at our school to celebrate  successes, learn more about what their first year was like, and invite  them  to help future new students with the transition.   Over the summer, Link Team students came to the school and gave tours to our new families.  Throughout the first quarter there will be structured  activities quarter where new students will have  an opportunity to build relationships with and learn from our returning students.

New Student Mail Delivery

During orientations over the summer,  there were letter writing stations where parents could write their students an encouraging note for  the first day of  school.  Link Team students also wrote notes  to new students and these were placed on student desks to welcome them on the very first  day of school.

Week 1 Group Activities

During lunches, I met with small groups of new students to learn names, do activities to get to know one another,  and  collect initial data on new student transitions.  Here are some of the post popular "Would You Rather?" questions from our first getting to know you activity.

1. Would you rather be invisible  or be able to r read minds?
2. Would you  rather only be able to whisper or only be able to shout?
3. Would you rather be born with an elephant trunk or a giraffe neck?
4. Would  you rather have to say everything on your mind or never speak again?
5. Would you rather have one wish granted today or 3 wishes granted in 10 years?

There will  be additional small group   activities  focused  on making new friends,  learning about the school rules, and learning how  different adults  at school can help them.  After these group lessons and activities with the  link  team,  the students will retake the initial survey.  I will continue to work  with families and students  who need additional support with the transition.

How much does a polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice!  One of the first steps of counseling is building a positive rapport with the student.  It is important for students to feel safe and trust the counselor as they begin to work together.  There are a number of ways to establish positive rapport, but here are a few of my favorite tools.

The Question Cup

  

I have a plastic cup full of Popsicle sticks with various questions.  The student and counselor each pick a certain number of sticks and both participants answer the questions.  To debrief, students share how they are similar to or different from the counselor and identify something new that they learned about the counselor.  Students may also ask questions that were not on the Popsicle sticks to learn more about their counselor.

Thumballs

Thumballs are stuffed balls with questions written on them.  You toss the Thumball to another player and answer the question under your left thumb.  You can purchase Thumballs with a variety of questions and topics.  Some of my favorites are the Personal Strengths Thumball and the Who are You Thumball.  You can purchase them here from YouthLight,Inc..  You can also make your own with an inflatable beach ball and a sharpie.  This is a great way to tailor the activity to a specific topic or group!

Play a Game

Playing a familiar game is a great way to help a student feel comfortable and open up.  When I have a student who is more resistant to counseling, I give them options for rapport building activities.  Nine times out of ten, they will pick the fun game and slowly but surely begin to open up.  Uno and Jenga are both great options!  

Building positive rapport sets the stage for the work of counseling and is one of the most important steps.

School Counseling is Like a Box of Chocolates

Borrowing a phrase from Forrest Gump, "Life School Counseling is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."  Every time I think that I've seen and heard it all, I am faced with a new, unimaginable problem.  Each day as a school counselor brings joy, sadness, surprise, and a variety of other emotions and experiences.  This idea may resonate with you as well as bring up feelings or ideas that you are compelled to explore and share.

I started this post with a fake quote from Forrest Gump, because I believe that metaphors, similes, and real life examples are powerful tools to help students confront problems they may be facing. 

Here is Dictionary.com's definition of a metaphor:

Metaphors are helpful counseling tools for the following reasons:

• They give students a chance to shift their thinking by exploring a related, but neutral topic or idea.
• Help  students understand a problem on a deeper level by relating it to something that is familiar.
• Metaphors and symbols aid students in visualizing their problem.

Students and clients will often share their own juicy metaphors that are ripe for exploration in a therapeutic setting.  A student was recently referred for school counseling after earning numerous consequences for aggressive behaviors when the student was angry.  In the first rapport building session, I asked the student to pick a word that describes him and begins with the first letter of his name.  The student said, "Dynamite, because you never know what kind of boom you are going to get."  This one answer could take sessions to explore.  While we identify his triggers (or what makes him tick) and his threshold of coping with anger (the length of his fuse), we can continue to revisit and talk about anger using a rich comparison to dynamite that the student came up with!

 

If only every student came to counseling with rich metaphors, my job would be totally different.  While not every student generates their own rich metaphor, students will often respond well to metaphors that are introduced to them.  Here are some of my favorites:

1. Counseling is a cross-country road trip.  When you drive across country, it takes time to get to your final destination.  There are a lot of sights to explore along the way.  Some sights you just look at out the window as you're driving, while others require you to stop, get out, and explore!  The cross country trip has a beginning and an ending and you learn many new things along the way, just like in the counseling journey.  How else is counseling like a long road trip across the country?
2. Anger is a balloon waiting to pop.  Imagine that I have a balloon and the air I blow into it represents things that make me angry or upset. If I blow air into it each time I become angry and never let it out, balloon will eventually POP!  When you put some air in the balloon, but then let it out, it doesn't get to the point where it will pop.  When you start to get angry, it is important to talk about it or let it out in a safe and healthy way so that you don't feel like you're going to pop.  What kind of things make you pop?  Who can you talk to when you need to let out a little bit of air?  What are some safe and healthy ways that you can let some air out?
3. Bullying creates many ripples in the pond.  When you throw a rock into a serene body of water, it splashes and creates circular ripples that spread out.  Bullying doesn't just impact the bully and the victim, it effects people all around.  Other than the bully and the victim, who does bullying effect?
4. Navigating upsetting situations requires windshield wipers on high speed.  In a bad storm,  it is harder to see and the roads are more dangerous.  To stay safe, cars slow down, turn on their lights and use the windshield wipers.  When we get angry or upset, it is hard for us to think clearly and make the smartest and safest decisions.  We need to slow down and think clearly to make positive choices.  What happens if you don't slow down when you are angry or upset?  Windshield wipers and lights help us drive safely in storms.  What tools help you to stay safe when you are angry or upset?
5. An apology is a bandaid that helps healing. We all have accidents and the occasional cut or scrape, just like we all make mistakes.  When we have a cut or a scrape, we put a bandaid on it to keep it safe and help it heal.  The bandaid does not make the ouchie go away, but it does help it to recover and get better.  When we apologize for a mistake or poor choice, we do not erase it or make it go away.  Instead, we take one step to help it heal.  What happens when you do not put a bandaid on a scrape or a cut?
6. Termination of counseling is riding a bike without the training wheels.  When you learn to ride a bike, you start with training wheels to support you and help you learn the skill of riding a bike.  The goal is to be able to ride the bike without the training wheels (how many sixteen year olds do you see riding tricycles??).  Once you have learned and practiced how to ride a bike with training wheels, you are ready to take them off and ride on two wheels!  This may be scary and you may fall off and get some bruises, but you can ride the bike!  Ending counseling is like taking the training wheels off.  You have learned new coping skills and are ready to ride without the weekly support of training wheels, or counseling support.  What is the scariest part of taking the training wheels off of your bike?

Depending on the age and developmental level of the client, exploring metaphors may look different.  Older students  may be able to analyze a presented metaphor whereas younger students may need explanations and guided questions to explore the metaphor.  While metaphors ARE NOT magical, they can lead to many "AHA!" moments.

Alcohol Awareness Month

April is Alcohol Awareness Month (as well as Jazz Appreciation Month, Sports Eye Safety Month, World Habitat Awareness Month, Poetry Month, and many others).  Alcohol and Drug education is an important topic for middle school counselor's to address.  In this post, I will share some of my favorite activities and resources that teach students about drugs and alcohol.  First, here are some of the facts:

• According to the Center for Disease Control, on average teen boys first try alcohol at age 11, and the average age that teen girls first try alcohol is 13. 
• The CDC also reports that in 2010, about 189,000 teens visited the emergency room for injuries or conditions related to alcohol use. 
• According to National Institute on Drug Abuse's 2012 Monitoring the Future study, approximately 6.5% of 8th graders, 17% of 10th graders, and 22.9% of 12th graders had used marijuana in the month prior to the survey.  Since 2007  marijuana use has increased.
• The NIDA reports that each day in the US, about 2,000 teenagers try prescription drugs without a doctor's prescription for the first time.
• Visit Drugabuse.gov for more facts, statistics, and information.

When I present lessons on drug and alcohol use I typically start with a true/false activity to share these statistics and frame the lesson.  I provide the rationale that while we do not think any of our students are using drugs or alcohol, we know that this is a problem in our community and country and we want to educate students to make healthy choices.  I also tell students that these statistics show that many people, even in our classroom, may be impacted by drugs or alcohol and it is extremely important to show respect when talking about this sensitive topic, because you never know the experience of the person sitting next to you.

Drug Free World offers The Truth About Drugs Education Package for free!  The Ads on the website are a great way to start the conversation and have students identify why people use drugs and the effects of substance use and abuse.  These videos are far more informative than the Rachel Leigh Cook "This is your Brain on Drugs" commercial from my teen years!

After students learn about why people use drugs and the effects, they can make their own posters that address the reasons people use drugs and promote alternative, safe, and healthy behaviors.

To encourage participating in this lesson, I like to give out bookmarks or comic books.  Students love getting giveaways and this also provides them with additional resources. You can order freebies from Elks Kids Zone, which is another great resource! 

I also want to make sure that every student feels safe asking questions is able to have their questions answered.  I pass out note cards or post it notes and have every student write their name and a question they have.  If they do not have a question, they are directed to write, "I do not have a question."  That way, all students are writing and when I review questions whole group, the questioner can remain anonymous.  This is a great tool to use in various lessons on sensitive topics.

GR8 Tips 4 Cyber Safety

Around 1998, I created an AIM screen name: DitCNBlonde.  Of course I knew the rules- I could only chat with my friends and could only logon at certain periods of time (since it would tie up a phone line).  When writing this, I Googled my old screen name.   I was horrified to see that there is still a record of it and it provides details about my life!  This was before the days of Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Kick and Ask.fm.  With the amazing advancements in technology, we are faced with new challenges in keeping students safe in this plugged in world.  IMHO (in my humble opinion), we need to teach students that nothing is private and personal online. Everything is permanent and public, just like my embarrassing screen name from over a decade ago.

Here are some facts and statistics about cyber safety:

• 88% of teens who use social media say they have seen someone be mean or cruel to another person on a social network site.  Twelve percent  of these teens say that they see this type of behavior "frequently." (From Pew Research Center's Internet and American Life Project, March 19, 2012)
• 21% of social media using teens who have witnessed online cruelty say they have joined in.  (From Pew Research Center's Internet and American Life Project, November 9, 2011)  
• 22% of teens report that technology makes them more forward and aggressive.
• 39% of teens have sent sexually suggestive text messages or email messages to someone. (From National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and Cosmogirl.com, 2008)
•  Cyberbullying is linked to low self-esteem, suicidal ideation, anger, frustration, and a variety of other emotional problems. (Patchin & Hunduja, 2006, in review, http://cyberbullying.us) 

We have tons of tools to teach students to think before they speak, but how do we teach students to THINK before they post?

1. The most logical way to reach these media savvy kids and teens is to turn to multimedia resources.  Here are some of the best ones I've found:

• OnGuardOnline.gov has great resources and videos to teach children and teens about internet safety.  There are resources for kids, parents, and educators.  You can also order free printed resources that can be used in lessons with kids or given to parents for more information.
• The Cyberbullying Research Center provides resources, up to date research, and presentations that can be used to teach students about cyberbullying.
• I'm With Shea tells the story of a teen with cerebral palsy who was viciously bullied through cruel text messages.  Shea's family worked tirelessly with authorities to find the person behind the screen and wants to share the message that you are not anonymous when you engage in cyberbullying; You can be found! 
• There are TONS of online videos and PSAs on Youtube that can be used to engage students in conversations about bullying and sexting.  I like this video from ThatsNotCool.com, because it provides an access point to have important conversations about sexting.  

2. Teach students the laws around cyberbullying.  The National Conference of State Legislatures website lists  state laws related to Cyberstalking and Cyberharassment.  Sadly, stories of teens who were charged with cyberbullying can be found all over the news. 

3. Educate parents.  Technology is constantly evolving and all stakeholders need to know what's out there and the best practices for keeping children and teens safe in cyberspace.

• Make sure parents know state laws and school policies around cyberbullying and the use of technology.
• Encourage parents to monitor text messages and use of social media.
• Direct parents to websites like NetLingo and Urban Dictionary to decipher messages that kids and teens are sending.  NetLingo has the top 50 acronyms that parents need to know.  Be warned-- this could lead to TMI (too much information).
• Remove technology from the bedroom when kids and teens are going to sleep.  This discourages students from overusing technology for negative purposes and also promotes a healthy night's sleep!

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has a great Tip Sheet that can be shared with parents.

I attended a Developmental Resources Seminar called "Mean Girls: What Educators Can do to Address and Prevent Female Bullying, Cyberbullying and Relational Aggression."  This wonderful seminar provided me with a lot of the great information that I have written about above.  It also directed me to new resources and prompted me to do my own research to find resources out there that will work for my population.  This is just the tip of the iceberg.  As technology continues to evolve and children have increased access to it, it will be important to find creative ways to help children and teens use technology for the purposes of good, not evil.  

THX (thanks) 4 reading. B4N (bye for now)

- DitCNblonde  Mrs. Bustard

Bully Free Zone

My sister in law is in the home stretch of her first year as a teacher (whoo-hoo!).  Even though she is awesome, her classroom is not immune to bullying. When we were talking, I reflected on the ways I have addressed bullying in my work as a school counselor.

According to the US Department of Justice, 1 out of 4 students will be abused by another youth and 160,000 students in the US miss school every day out of fear of being bullied.  Here are some of my top bullying resources and tips!

Power of Our Words

My favorite activity to teach students about bullying and the power of their words only requires a pencil, paper, and an eraser.  I ask students to write (school appropriate) words or phrases that they have heard used when someone is being bullied or teased-- maybe they have even used some of them.  Students have 3 minutes to write these words and try to fill up the entire space.  At the end of 3 minutes, students then are given an eraser and asked to erase everything they have written.  Students soon realize that the words cannot be completely erased or removed from the paper.  I ask them to relate this to bullying and students are able to articulate that even if they apologize, words are powerful and can negatively impact classmates.

You are Valuable

When I am working with a student who has been the victim of bullying, I hope to help them understand that they are valuable and the bullying experience doesn't take that away!  Students respond well to a metaphor I like to use with a $5 (or $1, $10, or $20) bill.  I will show a student a pristine bill and ask if how much it is worth and if they student would take it if it was offered to them.  Then, I crumple it, throw it, step on it, and crumple it some more.  I ask the student once again how much it is worth and if they student would take it if it was offered to them.  Students are able to understand that the value of the bill stays the same even if it is crumpled or stepped on.  I make sure to end by letting the student know that they are worth WAY more than any dollar bill!

Resources

In addition to these activities, I love using books and videos to teach students about bullying.  Here are some of my favorites.

Bullying Books and Videos

• Bullies Never Win by Margery Cuyler
• Don't Laugh at Me by Steven Seskin and Allen Shamblin
• Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
• Bully B.E.A.N.S.  by Julia Cook
• Bullied [Documentary] (order a free copy and resource kit from Teaching Tolerance
• Bully [Motion Picture]

Online Resources:

• National Bullying Prevention Center
• NASP Bullying Resources
• Stop Bullying
• Net Smartz

Next Friday, I have an opportunity to attend a seminar by Developmental Resources called "Mean Girls" where I hope to learn strategies and interventions to address relational aggression.  I will be sure to share my new learning and resources after the informative session.