School Counseling is Like a Box of Chocolates

Borrowing a phrase from Forrest Gump, "Life School Counseling is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."  Every time I think that I've seen and heard it all, I am faced with a new, unimaginable problem.  Each day as a school counselor brings joy, sadness, surprise, and a variety of other emotions and experiences.  This idea may resonate with you as well as bring up feelings or ideas that you are compelled to explore and share.

I started this post with a fake quote from Forrest Gump, because I believe that metaphors, similes, and real life examples are powerful tools to help students confront problems they may be facing. 

Here is Dictionary.com's definition of a metaphor:

Metaphors are helpful counseling tools for the following reasons:

• They give students a chance to shift their thinking by exploring a related, but neutral topic or idea.
• Help  students understand a problem on a deeper level by relating it to something that is familiar.
• Metaphors and symbols aid students in visualizing their problem.

Students and clients will often share their own juicy metaphors that are ripe for exploration in a therapeutic setting.  A student was recently referred for school counseling after earning numerous consequences for aggressive behaviors when the student was angry.  In the first rapport building session, I asked the student to pick a word that describes him and begins with the first letter of his name.  The student said, "Dynamite, because you never know what kind of boom you are going to get."  This one answer could take sessions to explore.  While we identify his triggers (or what makes him tick) and his threshold of coping with anger (the length of his fuse), we can continue to revisit and talk about anger using a rich comparison to dynamite that the student came up with!

 

If only every student came to counseling with rich metaphors, my job would be totally different.  While not every student generates their own rich metaphor, students will often respond well to metaphors that are introduced to them.  Here are some of my favorites:

1. Counseling is a cross-country road trip.  When you drive across country, it takes time to get to your final destination.  There are a lot of sights to explore along the way.  Some sights you just look at out the window as you're driving, while others require you to stop, get out, and explore!  The cross country trip has a beginning and an ending and you learn many new things along the way, just like in the counseling journey.  How else is counseling like a long road trip across the country?
2. Anger is a balloon waiting to pop.  Imagine that I have a balloon and the air I blow into it represents things that make me angry or upset. If I blow air into it each time I become angry and never let it out, balloon will eventually POP!  When you put some air in the balloon, but then let it out, it doesn't get to the point where it will pop.  When you start to get angry, it is important to talk about it or let it out in a safe and healthy way so that you don't feel like you're going to pop.  What kind of things make you pop?  Who can you talk to when you need to let out a little bit of air?  What are some safe and healthy ways that you can let some air out?
3. Bullying creates many ripples in the pond.  When you throw a rock into a serene body of water, it splashes and creates circular ripples that spread out.  Bullying doesn't just impact the bully and the victim, it effects people all around.  Other than the bully and the victim, who does bullying effect?
4. Navigating upsetting situations requires windshield wipers on high speed.  In a bad storm,  it is harder to see and the roads are more dangerous.  To stay safe, cars slow down, turn on their lights and use the windshield wipers.  When we get angry or upset, it is hard for us to think clearly and make the smartest and safest decisions.  We need to slow down and think clearly to make positive choices.  What happens if you don't slow down when you are angry or upset?  Windshield wipers and lights help us drive safely in storms.  What tools help you to stay safe when you are angry or upset?
5. An apology is a bandaid that helps healing. We all have accidents and the occasional cut or scrape, just like we all make mistakes.  When we have a cut or a scrape, we put a bandaid on it to keep it safe and help it heal.  The bandaid does not make the ouchie go away, but it does help it to recover and get better.  When we apologize for a mistake or poor choice, we do not erase it or make it go away.  Instead, we take one step to help it heal.  What happens when you do not put a bandaid on a scrape or a cut?
6. Termination of counseling is riding a bike without the training wheels.  When you learn to ride a bike, you start with training wheels to support you and help you learn the skill of riding a bike.  The goal is to be able to ride the bike without the training wheels (how many sixteen year olds do you see riding tricycles??).  Once you have learned and practiced how to ride a bike with training wheels, you are ready to take them off and ride on two wheels!  This may be scary and you may fall off and get some bruises, but you can ride the bike!  Ending counseling is like taking the training wheels off.  You have learned new coping skills and are ready to ride without the weekly support of training wheels, or counseling support.  What is the scariest part of taking the training wheels off of your bike?

Depending on the age and developmental level of the client, exploring metaphors may look different.  Older students  may be able to analyze a presented metaphor whereas younger students may need explanations and guided questions to explore the metaphor.  While metaphors ARE NOT magical, they can lead to many "AHA!" moments.